A Cure for Wellness


Okay. Last week we had some interesting new releases one of them being A Cure for Wellness starring Dane DeHaan (Life After Beth, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Kill Your Darlings), Mia Goth (Everest, Magpie) and Jason Isaacs (Fury, Sweetwater, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince). Out of the other two this one was most irresistible to me for one reason and one reason alone. Thriller with a twist at the end. My favs!

However when you read the summary we also have a little bit of horror thrown in there as well so…you know me seeing this movie was inevitable.

Dane DeHaan plays a Mr. Lockhart a very young businessman who’s full of ambition and the need to get to the top no matter what the costs. But his hard work finally pays off because he’s just got that big fat promotion complete with a huge office on the top floor the one with the grand view and everything. However upon his first big CEO meeting he’s greeted with some really dark news. One of the partners, a Mr. Pembroke played by Harry Groener (Patch Adams, About Schmidt, Beautiful Loser), who’d left for a spa treatment vacation about a month ago has sent them a letter informing that he’s just fine, they’re wasting their lives as slaves to big corporations and oh, he’s never coming back. Like ever.

Now the CEO’s are trying to get Mr. Crazy to return because of yadda, yadda, yadda business reasons and it’s here we learn that Lockhart gained his promotion by some underhanded illegal sneakiness. So now their blackmailing him to go and pick up the missing Pembroke or they turn him over to the cops.

This immaculate spa known for it’s “wellness project” is located in the middle of the Swiss Alps where a lot of old timers mainly big business owners go for some R&R. Like every good thriller it looks innocent enough on the outside but underneath things are not quite what they seem. Everyone takes a quick notice to Lockhart early since his youth makes him stand out. The only other tenant there around his age (I think, her age seems suggested) is the strange Hannah played by Mia Goth who’s been at the treatment center all her life. And then there’s the good doctor, Volmer played by Jason Isaacs, who’s immediately pegged as creepy with a dark secret as soon as he steps in front of the camera. Situations arise and instead of this being a quick trip to pick up Pembroke, Lockhart find’s himself as an unwilling guest at the beautiful yet sinister Spa.

So of course there’s going to be some thickening of the plot. One freaky thing after another keeps happening and you’re always left guessing. I love that. I also loved the awesome imagery and the cinematography that was provided was simply…amazing! And it continued to be amazing up until the part where Lockhart got to the Wellness Center. Once there it’s suddenly like all care for the imagery just kind of fell away and director Gore Verbinski said ‘…listen forget this artsy crap. Let’s just make the darn movie!’ That being said the first…mmm thirty maybe forty minutes were my favorite part about the film. Then Lockhart begins learning things he shouldn’t and you begin thinking, ‘There’s no way this is going where I think it’s going.’ ‘There’s no way this will end the way I’m thinking.’ ‘There’s no way the movies going to go there…’ Then guess what? It totally goes there. Then you begin asking the ‘Who’s’, ‘What’s’, and ‘Why’s’ and till the bitter end you never get a clear answer. Then there was this fascination with eels, and secret cults, and Hannah get’s her period and it’s just…just like ‘Whaaaa??’

Again, no clear answer’s to be found here.

Rated R for disturbing violent content and images, sexual content, graphic nudity and language.

Rotten Tomatoes had this strange and ever bewildering thriller at a 39% rotten. Ehh…

It bothered me that the film had like four different endings. Just when you think it’s over-oops! No, it’s not! It got to the point where it was repetitive and annoying and soon you don’t even care about Lockhart anymore. Live, die make up your mind but just END already! And if you’re looking for that smidgen of horror look elsewhere. Nothing here but creepy and mind f-ing scenes. Not even one little jump scare. Like I said the beginning of the movie was the best part those thirty or so minutes in I thought I was in for a real cinematic treat! But I tell you now, don’t go in there with your hopes up. It’s all just a big fat disappointing lie. Sadness and woe.